About the Secret Addendum, "Husbandry 101"

The Secret Addendum is special. It's secrets that only men know and IT MUST REMAIN THAT WAY! Before delving into this special addendum, it is important to understand that this section is truly secret and must be kept away from women. Therefore, if you are female, you need to hit the back button on your browser and pretend you never saw this page!

Therefore, before we go any further, you gentlemen must read this text that was taken directly from the beginning of this special secret chapter...

Selected Excerpts

Gentlemen, DO NOT SHARE THIS WITH WOMEN or you’ll be required to turn in your Man Card!

“Not having your man card for so long has clearly turned your brain to mush.” – Reese Monroe

Man Card (noun) – “Requirement to be accepted as a respectable member of the male community. Can and should be revoked by other respectable males for doing non-respectable-male things. Example: We had to take away Henry's Man Card because he cried in public when Kristina dumped him.” – Urban Dictionary

“Turn in your man card" (phrase) – “Instructional phrase (spoken in a manner which can only be termed as pure disgust) used by one male to another male who has clearly shown he has lost all vestige of manhood." – Urban Dictionary

IMPORTANT! It is critically important to understand that THIS chapter is to never ever EVER be shared with women! Just like the zillions of secrets they have, us men need to maintain the top-secret status of these husbandry tips and tricks. IF YOU PLAN TO KEEP THIS BOOK ON DISPLAY IN PUBLIC, you MUST tear out this addendum, burn it, and then flush the ashes! Anyone failing to keep this material top secret will be required to turn in their Man Card and hold a purse near the checkout stands of Wal-Mart for a solid hour!

You’ve been warned.

NOTE: These are only excerpts, taken from the full Husbandry 101 manuscript. Yes, it’s a manuscript, almost holy because of the wisdom and power, but not in any way sacrilegious. However, the full manuscript of Husbandry 101 is never shown together because if it ever got into the hands of women, our manly world would end as we know it. Manhood and freedom would be eliminated, and women would rule the world with ultimate power.

Now that we've gotten past the warnings, here's more info about this secret addendum...

FIRST, let's review the Table of Contents. The Secret Addendum starts on page 467 and continues until the end of the book.

Below is the actual Table of Contents from the book...

“The only reason I'd ever get a sex change operation is to see what it's like to be right all the time.” – Brian Wilson

Page Chapter/Section

5 Dedication & Acknowledgments

9 Foreword by Karen Alvord (The Author’s Wife)

11 Table of Contents

15 Historical Understanding of Women (Prehistoric to Modern)

47 Insider Knowledge to Decipher Her Emotions

69 Foolproof Techniques for Successfully Arguing with Women

91 The Discovered Reasons Why Women Go to the Bathroom in Groups

115 Mysteries of Women's Handbags Exposed

139 Navigating the Double-Edged Sword of Complimenting Women Without Being Misunderstood

153 Foolproof Answers for the Dangerous "Does This Make Me Look Fat?" Question

155 Comprehensive Insights into Why Women’s Shopping Habits Require So Much Time Compared to Men’s

179 Secrets Behind Why Women Are So Great at Multitasking

203 How to Guarantee Your Beautiful Woman Feels Beautiful

219 Proven Techniques to Ensure She Will Be on Time

241 Why Women are More Talkative Than Men

265 Men’s Insights into the Real Reason for All Those Pillows

281 How Women can Tell the Color Difference between Off-White, Ivory, Vanilla, Cream, Ecru, Eggshell, Beige, Linen, Buff, and Dove

305 Unmistakably Understanding What Intimacy Means to Her

321 How to Guarantee the Intimacy You Desire

343 Techniques for Handling Menstrual Cycles Like a Pro

359 Pregnancy: Proven Knowledge for Dealing with All Nine Months

375 Everything the Best Dads Know About Their Daughters (Birth to Empty Nest)

387 Tips for Understanding What Her Girlfriends Are Saying About You

403 Her Magical Intuition and How to Avoid Becoming Its Victim

417 If Divorce Happens, How to Avoid Getting Taken to the Cleaners

427 What Artificial Intelligence Understands About Women

435 Hints & Signals: Translate the Code and Read Between the Lines

443 The Supernatural Connection Between Women and Chocolate

449 Conclusive Research Explaining the Enigma of "Nothing's Wrong" When Clearly Something Is

455 All Other Information That Men Know About Women

467 Addendum: Husbandry 101 – Secrets Only Men Know. Selected Excerpts

467 ~Gentlemen, DO NOT SHARE THIS WITH WOMEN or you'll be required to turn in your Man Card!

469 ~Lifetime Liberation from Laundry

469 ~Classic Bait and Switch

470 ~Crayola Explosion

471 ~Drying With Purpose

472 ~Folding Clothes to Keep Wrinkles In

473 ~Wash, Rinse, Repeat

473 ~Disclaimer

475 ~Cooking for Freedom

475 ~Prepare the Groundwork

478 ~Manstakes for the Most Memorable Meal

478 ~Setting the Table

479 ~It Takes Meat Balls

480 ~The Limp Spaghetti Conundrum

480 ~Sassy Sauce

481 ~Crunchy Salad

481 ~Bring Home the Bread

482 ~Having Your Cake and Not Eating It Too

482 ~The Closing Act

484 ~Avoid Getting Sucked Back into the Kitchen

485 ~Reward Her for Your Freedom

487 ~Maintaining BBQ Grill Master Status

487 ~The Setup

488 ~Gaslighting

489 ~Get Her Cooking

489 ~The Final Lap

490 ~The Barb was Queued Up

493 ~The Secret Point System Game That Women Play

493 ~The Deets

494 ~The Score is Against You

494 ~Marbled Sunscreen

495 ~Phone Call at Work

495 ~Hold Her Purse

496 ~Wearing Girlyman Clothes

497 ~Shopping Cart Humiliation

498 ~Run to the Store for “A Few Things”

499 ~Rolling with the Punches

How the Addendum (Husbandry 101) is different from the rest of the book

As you can see by the complete Table of Contents above, the chapters above the Addendum (all pages before p.467) cover all kinds of topics known to men about women. The Table of Contents page of this website explains how those chapters look and function.

The Secret Addendum Husbandry 101, however, is different in nature. Unlike the other chapters, the Addendum has fully-written pages of valuable and useful material to teach men how to wear the pants in the family, increase TV time by not doing some domestic chores at the request of their spouse, etc. As you can see in the Table of Contents above, the four sections are called:

Lifetime Liberation from Laundry
Cooking for Freedom
Maintaining BBQ Grill Master Status
The Secret Point System Game That Women Play

While these sections include hilarious techniques, they also each contain a closing paragraph or two that brings us dudes back down to earth. Here's a sample of the closing advice in the Lifetime Liberation from Laundry section:

It probably goes unsaid that choosing to never do laundry again will cause your lady to have some dissatisfaction with your relationship. Real men understand this and if they choose to go this route, they must make up for it in other ways. Relationships are give and take and by tricking your partner into doing the laundry all the time, you are risking an imbalance in your relationship. It’s important to figure out how to offset the imbalance. Always handling folding the clothes (which can be done in front of the TV!), taking complete care of your vehicles, handling all the yard work, fixing whatever gets damaged, giving lots of backrubs, or whatever it takes – these are important decisions and many a man has ended up in divorce when he forgets that relationships need balance.

Author's Disclaimer

The author, Scott Alvord, is very aware that his book contains material that could be offensive to hyper-sensitive folks who don't actually read the book and only look at the table of contents to realize that the book is 100% written for humor and intended for entertainment. That is why he ran everything past groups of reviewers to get feedback and viewpoints. His wife even clarified this in the book's Foreword!

Here are Scott's words as written in his Dedication and Acknowledgements section of the book:

...

And finally, to those of you with a great sense of humor who love and appreciate the differences between men and women: I sincerely hope you enjoy this book. I whole-heartedly admit that us guys are the weaker gender and I hope the humor you find in this book celebrates that weakness!

I do want to be CLEAR that this book is written for entertainment purposes only and if you are offended…well…re-read this sentence. Also, if you choose to really follow the “secret” techniques detailed in the Addendum, you might find yourself sleeping on a couch until you wake back up into the reality of modern marriages.

Sincerely,
Scott

There is also a disclaimer on the copyright page at the very beginning of the book that includes the sentences:

This book was written for entertainment purposes and if you try to use it as a marriage or relationship guide…well…it’s kinda like Darwin’s Survival of the Fittest, you risk becoming extinct!

The Perfect Gift

This book is the perfect coffee table gag gift for new husbands, grooms, and those considering marriage proposals. It's 27 chapters (not counting the Addendum) of humorous, stereotypical subject matter that men have pondered for centuries, resulting in the compiled knowledge of everything that men know about women.

It will cause discussion and laughter among your friends!

The Secret Addendum (Husbandry 101) is worth the whole purchase! Learn how to avoid doing laundry or cooking ever again…at the insistence of your wife!

"To those who love and appreciate the differences between men and women: I sincerely hope you enjoy this book. I whole-heartedly admit that us guys are the weaker gender and I hope the humor you find in this book celebrates that weakness!" - R. Scott Alvord, author

Get the book!

"I have been a marriage and family counselor for 14 years and I have read this book from cover to cover and can attest that what men know about women in every single one of these categories is...well...100% accurate!" - Dr. Emerald, MFT

"This book is a must-read for young men or as a refresher course for the experienced man. Scott does a tremendous job outlining the numerous topics that we should know about women. The excerpts from Husbandry 101 are humorous, but I am surprised he is making public this top-secret information. What Men Know About Women is a lighthearted, funny read that celebrates what we really know about women and our relationship with them."

Dan Beal
Writer/Producer

R. Scott Alvord
Author

"This book speaks volumes, well actually pages, to what men know about women. It's clever, entertaining, and a quick read. Read this book when you need to laugh or chuckle - which should be all of the time! This is the perfect gift for any man - it's kind of like getting a vacuum on my birthday. I didn't ask for it, but it sure is useful."